I suspect that all Christian parents pray regularly for the well-being of their children. There is nothing remarkable about my saying I pray for mine. But praying for my children has taught me something about prayer in general.
From the time our children were small, my husband and I have interceded for them. We asked the Lord to watch over their safety; to help them grow into productive, honest people; to provide godly mates for them; and on and on through a long list of desires we had. But primarily we prayed for our children to know the Lord, and walk with Him. We wanted Him to be at the center of their lives.
I specifically asked God to protect each of them from heartache. Yet, contrary to what I wanted for them, they both experienced deep sorrow. The details aren’t important. Heartache comes in a variety of shapes.
These two examples of what seemed to be big “no” answers to my prayers caused me to question what I thought I understood about prayer. In my prayers for my children, I asked for “good” things which I thought were according to God’s will. I came to see that all the while God said, “No,” to some things along the way, He was answering the deeper prayer of my heart which was for them to know Him. As I watched them work through their individual sorrows, both of them came to know the Lord more intimately than would have been possible without the hurt. The distresses from which I would have spared them if I had my way were the very things which drove them to their Heavenly Father.
They are now grown with families of their own. They are both walking with the Lord. The prayer of my heart continues to be that they will live lives that please Him in every way. I have learned He knows best how to bring that about.
When God seems to be saying, “No” to some of our prayers, He may be saying, “Yes” to something more valuable. We can trust Him.
My mama-heart wanted my children to avoid hard circumstances. But no one is immune from pain.
Gentle rains and sunshine are necessary to grow a productive garden, but are not alone enough to break up hard, unplowed ground. Scattering seed in a shallow layer of dirt will not produce plants with deep roots. It is the hardships, adversities, injustices and sorrows that plow up the hard soil of our hearts so that the gentle rain and sunshine of God’s blessings can nurture growth. I want my children to be mature believers with deep roots. For that, the soil must be plowed up and prepared. That is the deeper prayer. I believe it carries more weight than prayers for comfort.
When our prayers are not answered exactly as we would like them to be, God is doing other things that are not immediately visible and are beyond our immediate understanding. We can trust Him through the process. He knows what He is doing. We don’t have to know why. We probably couldn’t understand it all anyway.
“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.” Isaiah 55:8
Blessings,
Phyllis
I would love to hear your thoughts. Please leave a comment below.
Image by Abel Escobar from Pixabay
Copyright 2023 Phyllis L. Farringer
Thank you for your words Phyllis. As I read about the deep roots, I thought about the picture on the book, A Purpose Driven Life. It is a picture of a tree flourishing but shows the roots of the tree as well. The roots are almost exact to the branches that we see above ground. Your words ring true.
Thank you, Holly.
This was so timely for us! We struggle with trying to control
to ease things for our adult children while praying for God to draw them closer to Him! There are big life changes ahead for our daughter: finishing residency, a baby on the way and a new job and we are struggling to maintain the perfect balance between being available for advice and butting in. More trust and prayer is needed. Our Heavenly Father knows His plans for her and how best to achieve them. Thanks for the beautiful reminder!
Thank you, Cathy
Amen and Amen, Phyllis. I also have not received one of the exact answers I have asked for my younger darling, but WOW have we gotten FAR BETTER ANSWERS as a result! Her depth of spiritual insight and connection to God are amazingly deeper than I could have ever imagined for her age. She says it came from all the time she has had to spend alone…with Him. Praise God for His wisdom despite my prayers!
Thank you, Nora